Harry 
title
Let's fake some reality TV. Action. This is what happens
when a school janitor gets us in trouble. Janitor's car… Feel the wrath. [screaming] [screaming] [screaming] What are doing to my car? Your car? What is goin' on here? Um, we were wrecking
this junker car for the show… "The wood." Keep goin'. No. Shut up, buddy. [grunting] This is Festus' car. You said some guy dropped off
this junker car for us to whack. Yeah, he must have
meant that one. Aw, man, we abused the wrong ca.
Um… I think you look nice
with no eyebrows. Jade… I just wanna say… I really appreciate you
having lunch with us, and thank you, Andre and Beck, for handcuffing Jade
to the table. No problem. [screaming] I still don't get
how this happened. Well, Jade asked me to make
her eyebrows look nice. So I tried to wax them, but when I took
the wax strips off there was… Um… a problem. My eyebrows are gone! No they're not! I told you, they're right here! Uh, what song is this? Just listen,
I think you'll hate it! ♪ You had it all ♪ ♪ The day you told me
Told me you want me ♪ ♪ I had it all ♪ ♪ But let you fool me
Fool me completely ♪ ♪ Yeah, I was so stupid ♪ ♪ To give you all my attention♪ ♪ 'Cause the way you played me
Exposed your true intention ♪ ♪ And one day ♪ ♪ I'll have you begging
On your knees for me ♪ ♪ Yeah, one day ♪ ♪ I'll have you crawling
Like a centipede ♪ ♪ You messed with me
And messed with her ♪ ♪ So I'll make sure you get
What you deserve ♪ ♪ Yeah, one day ♪ ♪ You'll be begging
On your knees for me ♪ ♪ So watch your back ♪ ♪ 'Cause you don't know when
Or where I could get you ♪ ♪ I've set the trap
And when I'm done ♪ ♪ Then you'll know what
I've been through ♪ ♪ So, oh Mr.
Player ♪ ♪ Do you feel like
The man now? ♪ ♪ And I bet you're nervous ♪ ♪ 'Cause this song
Makes you freak out ♪ ♪ I know I'm being bitter ♪ ♪ But I'ma driving you under ♪ ♪ 'Cause you just don't
Deserve happy ever after ♪ ♪ But what you did to me ♪ ♪ After you told me
You never felt that way ♪ ♪ It was only just a game ♪ ♪ And one day ♪ ♪ And one day ♪ ♪ I'll have you begging
On your knees for me ♪ ♪ You messed with me
And messed with her ♪ ♪ So I'll make sure you get
What you deserve ♪ ♪ Yeah, one day ♪ ♪ You'll be begging
On your knees for me ♪ [cheering] Okay, that is one
chicken Caesar wrap.
Yum. One tuna wrap. Thank you. And a very pretty veggie burger
for a very pretty mouth to chew. Thanks. Here ya go. Thank you very much. I'll um… hey! Wait, this is a coupon
for lady soap! I can't accept this. You have to pay in cash! Shut up! Okay, I'll make it work. Thanks. Y'know, you're supposed
to be helping. Excuse me, but
I'm the one who figured out how to use the deep fryer. Great. What'd ya fry? Rex's foot. What? You did not. Oh-oh. Ohh!! The floor is wet. You can't run across that.
It's too dangerous. Way to go, Tori. You just had to have your taco. We're dead. No… Just me. You guys get back
to the library. What about you? I am gonna get
Dickers' attention. How? ♪ Here I am once again ♪ ♪ You don't have to be afraid
To put your dream in action ♪ ♪ You're never gonna fade
You'll be the main attraction ♪ ♪ Just remember me well,
I'll make it shine ♪ Oh, I'm gonna make it shine. I'm gonna make it
shine real good! Listen.
Ahhhh, you're in
big trouble, Vega. For what? For leaving the library. Skinny-jeans. And singing off key. Come on! I was running and singing
at the same time! That's really hard. Oh, shut up! Hey. Whatcha doing? Cutting up a big trash can. You cut up the janitor's
entire trash can? He's got another one. Jade, listen. I read your play and
I think it's really good. I'm not your friend. Well. Anyway, if the school
won't let me do my play, then who cares if it's good? Why don't you just
produce your play yourself? You know how much
money that would cost? No.
Did she cut up
that whole trash can with just a pair of scissors? How much do you think
it would really cost -to produce your play?
-I don't know. Two, three grand. Okay, well it shouldn't be
that hard to find someone To put up the money. You'd really find me someone
to put up the money -to produce my play?
-I meant that… hey. Did she not say, it shouldn't
be that hard to find someone to put up the money. She did. [chattering] So you'll do that, right? Sure. Good. [gasps] Sweet and sour sauce. I said sweet and sour. Hey. Do you guys wanna give me 3,000
bucks to produce Jade's play? Ohhh. Oh my goodness, Dolfo,
I have a feeling we're not in the Hollywood arts
bathroom anymore. Oh no way, we are. It's just in color. [toilet flushing] [gasps] Oh, hello. Well hello, if you please. Are you a good witch
or a sandwich? Who me? Well, I'm neither
a witch or a snack.
You're talking
some crazy [INDISCERNIBLE]. Well, well, you do have
the ruby cell phone. [gasps] Oh my goodness! Well this phone is beautiful! Were all
my contacts transferred? [toilet exploding] [gasps] Who took my ruby cell phone,
was it you? I didn't mean to.
Here, you can have it back. Good, give it! [screaming] Curses! I'll never
be able to get that ruby cell phone as long
as it's April Fool's Day. Speaking of that,
are really not going to do
anything for April Fool's Day? Silence! I'll get you my pretty,
and your little fish, too! [whimpering] Oh be gone, you have
no powers in this restroom! Witch sneers at Dorothy!
Then exits.
[evil laugh] Oh my, she spoke
her stage directions. What am I supposed to do now? Well, you are in a restroom,
you could [INDISCERNIBLE]. -Dolfo too?
-Heh heh, Dolfo too. [giggling] Improv, acting without a script, which means the actors must
make up their own actions and dialogue as
they perform the scene. Understood? Excellent. Jade, you will captain
the first group of the day. Choose your actors. [sighs]
Cat, Eli, Beck, and Tori. Okay, let's give 'em a place. Home. Home. Oh, real creative. You be quiet. Ow! And now we need a situation. Big news. Andre, nobody wants
to see big nudes. News. Ah, well that's different. Big news. Ah, why don't you go
wait in the hall? Uh, okay. Okay. At home, big news… -And action!
-Hey babe, how was work today? -Uh, I got fired.
-Ugh, again! It's okay, I have great news that will cheer up
this whole family. -What is it?
-Tell us! I went to the animal
shelter and got us… a dog! Uh yep, I'm the new family dog. Woof. Sikowitz, will you please tell this
amateur that dogs can't talk and that they don't
walk on two legs? Sikowitz! Oh I'm sorry, I was sucking
the milk of this coconut.
But it's true Tori, if you're
going to play a dog, be a dog. Woof! And action! I went to the animal shelter
and got us a dog. -Wow!
-Awesome! Uh oh, looks like this dog
has bugs in her fur wolf. Uh, woof? -Eww!
-Gross! Oh it's okay,
I read on the Internet that coffee works great
for getting rid of fur bugs. Uh, maybe you shouldn't.
-Jade! What's the prob, dog? What do we got, what do we got? Um, I got Cat receiving
another order from that sky store
catalog thing.
Whoa, isn't that like her
fifth delivery this week? Yeah, chick's outta control. No doubt. No, there were supposed
to be two packages. I only got one. It was supposed
to get here on… Hey, why are you shooting this? Who are you with? Robarazzi. Ugh! Girl's got a problem. No doubt. And, I'm gonna go out
on a limb here and say that's probably not
her natural hair color. Funny stuff, Rob. Okay, what else we got? Hey! I don't use any more
ketchup than the next guy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on you guys, we're in
the middle of taping my show. Beck and I
are not "splitsville." Well… Is there something
you wanna talk about? Kidding.
Are you guys getting this ‘cause
this is really great stuff. Robbie. You're not gonna
have any friends left if you keep exploiting us
for your dumb blog. Okay, we have Tori freaking out. Is he serious? Really? This is ridiculous. [yelling] [yelling] Stop! This is your last chance. Are you gonna stop this
Robarazzi thing or not? And then at 10 PM,
when President Lincoln was watching the play
at Ford's theater, Booth quietly slipped
into Lincoln's box, pulled out a derringer
and shouted… -I'm gonna kill you!
-No. Man, you better run
before the girl… [screaming] Rex! Trina, I'm teaching
a class right now. How dare you call my
one-woman show a comedy?! I had to follow my conscience! Trina, out of this classroom. [grunting] I know where you live. No, you don't. We moved last year. What's your new address?! 3707 Cahuenga. It's a duplex, we're on top. Got it. I am so upset! [squeaks] [screams] [groans] [groans] Well? You didn't make the team. What? I beat everybody. I don't care. Read the school website. When a student tries out for
a sports team for which there is no coach,
the team captain shall decide if the student is granted or
denied acceptance to the team.
-Captain says denied.
-But you can't– -You can't just.–
-Read the phone, Tori. Read the phone. Don't you steal
my phone-in-face bit. You ever try this
when you were a kid? Whoa, whoa, whatcha doin'? Just give me your hand,
don't be a baby. Alright… I'm trusting you. Yeah, yeah… big mistake… Make a fist? Okay… What are you doing? Uh… talk less…
And open your hand. Fist. You sure there's
a point to this? Yep… and here it comes…
Open? Oooh, it's all tingly! See? Haha…
Do it again!! No! You have to finish writing
your song… the chorus. Eh, is s after midnight,
let's just bail. Uh uh. You got a break,
now finish writing the chorus. I've been tryin' to finish it
for three hours. Wow. Great, now shut up
and sing something. Keep goin'. ♪ …I… I really wish that I
could write the next line ♪ ♪ My favorite letter's J ♪ ♪ Tuna fish filet ♪ ♪ I'm gonna wash my dog
With some blue shampoo ♪. All right… let me try
something. Record me. All right. Here you go. ♪ There is no upper hand
I'm givin' you mine ♪ ♪ It doesn't have to end up
Wastin' your time ♪ ♪ There's things
That I could say ♪ ♪ But here in my way ♪ ♪ I want to let you know
That it's all okay ♪ Whatcha think? Ya like that? Mmm-hmmm.
But the most surprising
part of the play happened at the end
when the monster gouged out Pricilla's eyes,
which, for whatever reason, I found really funny. Questions? I have two questions. Okay, no questions.
Great, I'm done. Thank you, Jade, for
that disturbing report. Robbie, you're up. Right. Hello, everybody. Hi. My report is on…
Vaudeville. Now, if you all look at… Oh, my God. Aww, your grandmother
wants to chat. Robbie, Robbie,
can you see me now? Hi, Mammaw. Is this important? 'Cause
I'm kinda in the middle of… How do I open the internet? Grandma, grandma,
you're on the internet. We couldn't be video-chatting
if you weren't on… Hey, Robbie, I see your puppet. Are you still taking
your puppet to school? Rex is not a puppet. Maury, Robbie still
plays with his puppet. I'm in the bathroom! Doing what? Robbie, Robbie, Robbie! ♪ Here I am, once again ♪ ♪ Feeling lost
But now and then ♪ ♪ I breathe it in to let it go♪ ♪ And you don't know
Where you are now ♪ ♪ Or what it would come to,
if only somebody could hear ♪ ♪ When you figure out how ♪ ♪ You're lost in the moment,
You disappear ♪ ♪ You don't have to be afraid
To put your dream in action ♪ ♪ You're never gonna fade,
You'll be the main attraction ♪ ♪ Not a fantasy,
Just remember me ♪ ♪ When it turns out right ♪ ♪ 'Cause you know that if you
Live in your imagination ♪ ♪ Tomorrow you'll be
Everybody's fascination ♪ ♪ In my victory
Just remember me ♪ ♪ When I make it shine ♪ ♪ You don't have to be afraid
To put your dream in action ♪ ♪ You're never gonna fade,
You'll be the main attraction ♪ ♪ Not a fantasy,
Just remember me ♪ ♪ When it turns out right ♪ ♪ 'Cause you know that if you
Live in your imagination ♪ ♪ Tomorrow you'll be
Everybody's fascination ♪ ♪ In my victory
Just remember me ♪ ♪ When I make it shine ♪ [cheering] [cheering] Poor Trina.
I just don't understand
what went wrong. Don't worry. One time my brother
was in Vegas and he fell out of
a fourth story hotel window and landed on the roof
of a shuttle bus. And he was okay? No. Well… But he's okay now? Nooooo. He's seriously messed up. C'mon c'mon,
I gotta get outta here. I'm supposed to meet
Keiko after school. Keiko? Yeah, this girl
I met at B.F. Wangs. She's all exotic and Polynesian.
I gotta get outta here! I love B.F. Wangs! Have you guys heard
their bang bang noodles?! No? Bye! Ah, Lane says we can't leave. Lane doesn't know about Keiko! [laughing] What's so funny? Are you laughing at that
video of Trina getting hurt? No. [screaming] I'm laughing at the comments.
You posted it online?! A little bit. How's Trina?!?! Is she all right?!?! How's the ranch house? Trina's banged up but she's
gonna be fine, nothing serious. Oh, thank God. Yup. Bye! No-no-no-no-no-no-no. Sit down. Whyyyy? Yeah, why do
we have to be here? 'Cause, you all are suspects. Aw, not again. Suspects? For what happened to Trina? Mmm-hmm. But that was an accident. Yeah. A terrible, hilarious accident. That already has1,700 views. Posting videos
of people's tragedies is just mean and wrong.
Yeah, no… thanks. I really appreciate
your input on that. ♪ More tough nights
Of all the same ♪ ♪ Together day and night ♪ ♪ We're not here to
Play your games ♪ ♪ We're here to make it right ♪ ♪ Yeah we understand
And we're not afraid to fight ♪ ♪ Now you know our plan
We're taking over tonight ♪ ♪ 'Cause we're all
In this together ♪ ♪ We're never backing down ♪ ♪ Now things are better ♪ ♪ Cause we're turning
This around ♪ ♪ Yeah, we're all
In this together ♪ ♪ Even if you're far from home♪ ♪ Nothing else
Will even matter ♪ ♪ Cause you'll never be
You'll never be alone! ♪ All right, class. All right. Which dancers would like
to show me the routine we were working on last time? We would. What? We got this, man. You're a maniac. Andre, Robbie, to the front. Don't talk to anyone
till I get back. Positions. Begin. [yelping] [grunting] [groaning] Let's take a five minute break.
Please make it 10. 20. Yo, Cat. Oh, hey, Tori! We doing lunch? Uh, yeah, just a sec. I'm almost finished
with my assignment. Oh, what's the assignment? To transform a human face
into a terrifying monster. Wanna see? Terrify me. Isn't he scary? No, he's kind of adorable. Aw, man, you made me cute. You're the worst. Well, let me try again
after school. No, no, no! I'm done with you. No, but wait, you can't just… Done with you. Oh, that's the third model
who's quit on me. I'm gonna get an "F" in makeup. Aww, that bites. Let's go get an "A" in lunch. Wait. No. I just need… I'm not gonna be your
monster makeup model. But if I don't transform
someone's face into a hideous monster by Monday,
I'm gonna fail this class.
And if I don't cram
a turkey sandwich down my throat, I'm gonna
fail not starving to death. Oh, come on. We can do it tonight,
tomorrow night, -whenever you want.
-I'm in a huge play. I have to learn all
my lines and five songs. Tori. Cat. Ah, you have to do it. No, I'm not doing it. -Say yes, I'm desperate.
-I don't want to. -All right, I'll do it.
-Yay! ♪ Suddenly ♪ ♪ My choice is clear ♪ ♪ I knew when only you and
I were standing here ♪ ♪ And beautiful is all I see ♪ ♪ It's only you, I know
It's true, it has to be ♪ ♪ Well that money
Isn't worth a thing ♪ ♪ If you didn't earn it,
You don't deserve it ♪ I deserve it!
Ow! ♪ True love doesn't
Cost a thing ♪ ♪ And if you try to buy it,
You can't return it ♪ ♪ No, no no-oh ♪ ♪ Your friends are doing
All the same things ♪ ♪ And my friends say look at
What you're wasting ♪ ♪ Well it doesn't matter if
We change their minds ♪ ♪ Suddenly I can see
What I didn't before ♪ ♪ And I don't care
What they say anymore ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm falling, falling ♪ ♪ Finally falling, falling ♪ We brought you Freezy Queen! Just get this muck off my face! -Okay!
-Get it off her face! -Okay!
-Hurry! Come on come on come on! Oh! -Come on, come on!
-Okay.
-Hurry I'm missing the song!
-Okay! Come on come on! [panicking] [screaming] ♪ I don't need all
The finer things ♪ ♪ Diamond rings are nothing
So show me something ♪ ♪ 'Cause love is all I need ♪ ♪ All I ever wanted
And now I've got it ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah-e-eah ♪ ♪ My friends are wondering
What we're thinking ♪ ♪ And your friends, they
Probably think the same thing ♪ ♪ Well it doesn't matter if
We change their minds ♪ ♪ Suddenly I can see
What I didn't before ♪ ♪ And I don't care
What they say anymore ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm falling, falling ♪ ♪ Finally falling, falling ♪ [cheering] Cat? Turn it back on.
You guys want some corn nuts? What are you doing here? I'll have some corn nuts. Cat? Well, I guess I kinda… Live here now. Why are you living
in a tiny room in the attic of our school? Well, you know how
my brother is kinda weird? Uh, yeah. You've mentioned that. Well, my parents took him to
this special place in Idaho, where doctors can make
sure he gets lots of "mental relaxation"… And can't escape. Well, how long are
your parents gonna be with your brother in Idaho? Between six months
and two years. Two years?! My brother's pretty messed up. Okay, but why have you
been sleeping here at school? Because, my parents
wanted me to stay with my Uncle Walter and Aunt Pearl
but they're mean.
-What's wrong with them?
-Everything! They don't like my red hair,
they only eat vegetables, they said I can't have
unlimited texting, and they won't let me
flush the toilet unless it's
"absolutely necessary". So, you ran away? Uh-huh. I live here now. Oh, come on! You have to have some
other relative you can live wit. What about your grandmother? Yeah, what do you call her? Nona? I would love to live
with my Nona. But she moved away, to Italy. Well, you can't live here. No way. Why? I've got this rope. These extra long
extension cords. A light bulb. So, it's not so bad. Except when the giant mice
jump down from the ceiling. -Giant mice?!
-Oh, my God. How often do they
jump down from the… [screaming] [screaming] ♪ It's nine on the dot
And we just talk, we talk ♪ ♪ And I just wanted to stop ♪ ♪ 'Cause aren't we here
For the music ♪ ♪ And if you dare just
Get up out your chair ♪ ♪ 'Cause this
Ain't going nowhere ♪ ♪ We've gotta
Move it our you lose it ♪ ♪ All I wanna know ♪ ♪ Is when we're letting go so ♪ ♪ We can get this
Record to break ♪ ♪ Why we wastin' time ♪ ♪ We never can rewind ♪ ♪ All I'm really tryin' to say
Is shut up and dance ♪ ♪ Show me whatcha got ♪ ♪ Shut up and dance ♪ ♪ Are you in or not? ♪ ♪ You're movin' your mouth ♪ ♪ Baby, don't speak ♪ ♪ Shut up and dance
If you're into me ♪ ♪ 'Cuz I can't wait no more
To get on the floor ♪ ♪ Don't stop now
It's our chance ♪ ♪ To shut up and
Dance 'till we drop ♪ ♪ 'Cuz I'm sick of this space ♪ ♪ In-between you and me ♪ ♪ Light it up 'til
We're makin' a scene ♪ ♪ Quit the talk, let it rock ♪ ♪ If you know what I mean ♪ ♪ Well, shut up and dance ♪ ♪ Show me whatcha got ♪ ♪ Well, shut up and dance ♪ ♪ Are you in or not? ♪ ♪ You're movin' your mouth ♪ ♪ Baby, don't speak ♪ ♪ Shut up and dance
If you're into me ♪ ♪ 'Cuz I can't wait no more
To get on the floor ♪ ♪ Don't stop now
It's our chance ♪ ♪ To shut up and
Dance dance, dance, yeah ♪ ♪ Shut up and
Dance dance, dance, yeah ♪ ♪ Put up your
Hands hands, hands, yeah ♪ ♪ Shut up and
Dance dance, dance, yeah ♪ ♪ Shut up and dance! ♪ [cheering] [playing piano] Andre! It's raining in my bathroom! Grandma, you were
just taking a shower.
I'm gonna go get
some orange juice! Okay, what was it? Uh… [playing piano] Andre! There's a helicopter
in the kitchen! Grandma, that's just
the ceiling fan. It's just the ceiling fan! Andre! My name is Betty-sue
Golden-heart. I live on a farm in Alabama,
just north of a little… Now you're eating raisin bran. Mmmm. I just love eating cereal
that's been manhandled by your filthy hands. Uh-oh. I spy a fly
with my little thigh.
Thigh? Come here, you winged nuisance. Where'd it go? Well, I believe the fly in
question went this way and then that way,
and then over there, and then round-about,
and every way except for that way and over yonder. There he is! Oh! C'mere! Time to die! [grunts] Sikowitz! [groaning] Are you okay? Who… Who's there? It's Robbie. Ah! You broke character! You're out! You tricked me! Precisely! Now go home.
Awww. It was so wonderful
to meet you. Take care of yourself, mate, you seem like
an effervescent bloke. Beck, stop it! At least you're not pregnant
and exhausted from runnin' a marathon. Enjoy the raisin bran! [sighing] 107 degrees. [groaning] For so many years,
I've prayed every night to be hotter. This isn't what I meant! There's parts of me sweatin'
I didn't know could sweat. Oh my God, I forgot.
What? I brought a fan,
a battery-Powered fan. Get out. Come on. Here it is. Oh, stop. That's it? That's your fan? Yeah. It's not big. It's an embarrassment. You teased us. Okay. Okay, fine. Then I guess I just
won't turn it on. No, no. Turn it on. Now you like
my tiny fan, don't you? At least it oscillates. Um, I'm still not happy. I'm so hot. Where could Cat be? I hope she's okay. Well well, would a cute boy like another free
sausage pizza with no green peppers whatsoever? [chuckling] You're weird. Yeah, good weird. So I don't suppose
you wanna eat this pizza all by yourself, do ya? No. Sooo… I was thinkin' maybe
I should go inside there with you, and the two
of us could share th… What's goin' on? Whoa whoa, who's she? It's my girlfriend. Oh, so when were you
gonna tell me about this? Can I just have my pizza? Oh, your pi…
Yeah, you want your pizza? Okay, sure, lemme
just get that for ya, huh? We're over! Don't you ever put me in a
situation like that, ever again. Relax, Rob. You shouldn't have cut
Trina's gimbal. Trina shouldn't have
whacked me in the face. Mischief is never the answer! Never? Never! You're just lucky
I protected you. And if anyone ever
finds out… They won't! Nobody ever
suspects the puppet. Heh heh heh heh. I thought you hated that word. It's okay if I say it. Write a single-scene script,
between seven and 10 pages. The scene must involve
a mystery–ooh– Use at least 3 characters, and
have a surprise plot twist.
Got it. We can do that. Ideas? Hey, you guys wanna
hear a cute joke? A joke? Yeah. Listen. Okay. What did the young shrimp
say when his mom asked him why he wouldn't
share any of his toys? What? Sorry, I'm a little shellfish. [laughing] ♪ I know, you see ♪ ♪ Somehow the world
Will change for me ♪ ♪ And be so wonderful ♪ ♪ Here I am once again ♪ ♪ Feeling lost but
Now and then ♪ ♪ Live life, breathe air ♪ ♪ I know somehow
We're gonna get there ♪ ♪ And feel so wonderful ♪ ♪ When you figure out how
You're lost in the moment ♪ ♪ You disappear ♪ ♪ It's all for real ♪ ♪ I'm telling you
Just how I feel ♪ ♪ You don't have to be afraid
To put your dream in action ♪ ♪ You're never gonna fade,
You'll be the main attraction ♪ ♪ Remember to tell my nation ♪ ♪ It's your time to break ♪ ♪ Not a fantasy
Just remember me ♪ ♪ When it turns out right ♪ ♪ [INDISCERNIBLE] chance
And lets you take one ♪ ♪ And the time to say ♪ ♪ You know that if you
Live in your imagination ♪ ♪ Tomorrow you'll be
Everybody's fascination ♪ ♪ See the brighter side of ♪ ♪ Every situation ♪ ♪ When I make it shine ♪ ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ ♪ We're gonna make it shine! ♪ ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ ♪ When you live
In your imagination ♪ ♪ When I make it shine! ♪ ♪ Leave it! Make it!
Leave it! Make it! ♪ ♪ Leave it! Make it!
Leave it! ♪ ♪ All right! ♪ [cheering] ♪ When I make it shine! ♪ ♪ Just leave it all to me ♪ [cheering] A girl doesn't dye her hair
that color unless she has psychological problems.
My hair color has
nothing to do with my psychological problems. Don't you use that tone
with me, young lady. Well, you said a bunch
of mean things to me. My mom thinks it's funny. Over my dead body, would I
let my grandson ever marry… We're just friends. Ugh! No, no, no. Oh, this is bad news. Oh, no. What? What's wrong, sweetheart? They canceled the internet. Huh? Yeah, look. You know,
bad economy, low ratings, they just cancelled
the whole internet. It says right there
on the screen. Aww, that's too bad. That's terrible. Yeah, it's a tragedy. Bye, Mammaw. Let's go, Cat. Hey, wait, Robbie. I made you a chicken. Give it to Brenda. Bye. Don't you think we should
wait one more minute– Who's out here? [screaming] Be gone,
ghost of Mona Patterson! Go to the light! Cat, I'm almost sure
she's not dead. Don't poke that! Why did you think
that she was dead? I read it online. It said Mona Patterson
joins the dead. That's a new show, you dip. There's a story about me being cast in a show
called The Dead .
I played David Schwimmer's wife. Well, nice to meet you, I'm Cat. Good. I have something nice for Cats. [gasps] [giggling] [screaming] Now, just wait a second. This girl made us drive
two hours through the rain in a topless convertible
just because she loves you, and your work. So would it kill you just to be
a little bit nice and maybe [screaming] Can't you see we're already wet? Get off my property! [screaming] Okay, did you know
your mom's boss has an antique human skull
in his room? Please, put that back. I'm not supposed
to touch anything here. Touching things
is a part of life. But I'm pretty sure
we're not supposed to…
Look… I'm touching
Elvis's guitar, see? I'm Elvis Presley, and
I'm touchin' mah gee-tar… That's right baby…
I touched the boss's skull, and I'm a'touchin'
mah special gee-tar. See, I touched the guitar
and nothing bad happened… [crashing] That guitar was
not properly hung. Who's that? Jade. Let me see
what she wants. Aww. Hey, look. We're doing this project that's
due tomorrow morning, so… Where have you been? Home. Why? I left you a voicemail and you
haven't called me back. I'm doing homework. So you wanna break up with me. Wait. No. No, why would you think that
I want to break up with you? Why do you have that animal? My neighbor's dog. His neighbor the cheerleader.
Cheerleader? Why? Why would you say that? Sorry. You know what cheerleaders have? Pep. Pep? Did she say pep? Why are you doing
favors for a cheerleader, and what is she doing for you? It's not what you think. She's just… I'm coming over there. No, no. You don't need to… Don't make that face. ♪ Are you listening? ♪ ♪ Hear me talk, hear me sing
Open up the door ♪ ♪ Is it less? Is it more? ♪ ♪ When you tell me to beware
Are you here? Are you there? ♪ ♪ Is it something
I should know? ♪ ♪ Easy come, easy go ♪ ♪ Nodding your head,
Don't hear a word I said ♪ ♪ I can't communicate
When you wait, don't relate ♪ ♪ I try to talk to you but
You never even knew ♪ ♪ So, what's it gonna be?
Tell me, can you hear me? ♪ ♪ I'm so sick of it,
Your attention deficit ♪ ♪ Never listen,
You never listen ♪ ♪ I'm so sick of it,
So I'll throw another fit ♪ ♪ Never listen,
You never listen ♪ ♪ I scream your name ♪ ♪ It always stays the same ♪ ♪ I scream and shout ♪ ♪ So what I'm gonna do now
Is freak the freak out ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa-oh ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa-oh ♪ [laughing] ♪ Patience running thin
Running thin, come again ♪ ♪ Tell me what I get,
Opposite, opposite ♪ ♪ Show me what is real
If it breaks, does it heal? ♪ ♪ Open up your ear
Why you think that I'm here? ♪ ♪ Keep me in the dark, are you
Even thinking of me? ♪ ♪ Is someone else above me?
Gotta know, gotta know ♪ ♪ What am I gonna do? ♪ ♪ 'Cause I can't
Get through to you ♪ ♪ So, what's it gonna be?
Tell me, can you hear me? ♪ Can you hear me? ♪ I'm so sick of it,
Your attention deficit ♪ ♪ Never listen,
You never listen ♪ ♪ I'm so sick of it,
So I'll throw another fit ♪ ♪ Never listen,
You never listen ♪ ♪ I scream your name ♪ ♪ It always stays the same ♪ ♪ I scream and shout ♪ ♪ So what I'm gonna do now
Is freak the freak out ♪ [cheering] Will you sing his favorite
song to him with me? What song? Forever, baby
by Michael Corcoran.
Do you know it? Uh, I don't know. Maybe the chorus? That's his favorite part. Come on. [clears throat] ♪ Move your body
Right next to mine ♪ ♪ Feel the beat
And we're lost in time ♪ Wait, wait, wait. Sing it on key. It was on key! You were just
a little bit flat. No, I was not… all right. [clears throat] ♪ Move your body
Right next to mine ♪ ♪ Feel the beat
And we're lost in time ♪ ♪ I am yours
And now you are mine ♪ ♪ Forever, baby… ♪ [flatlining] [sobbing] [sobbing] I'm sorry. [sobbing] [sobbing] No! I'm sorry. Come, there's
a quiet room where you can sit with your friends.
[sobbing] [beeping] Robbie! Come back! Rex is okay! Doctor! Robbie! What happened?! I dunno.
It started beeping again. What? He's alive?! Yeah! I think I even heard him
say something! Rex! Rex, can you hear me?! Speak to me buddy! ♪ Meant for me
And I'm meant for you ♪ Rex. Rex. ♪ Forever, baby ♪ -Hey, Spencer.
-What's up Tori? And here you go. Thanks. Well… Here are the keys to your rooms. Those are screwdrivers. I know. He said to stick it in
the keyhole and jiggle it. What did he say about
the indoor swimming pool? Well, um, apparently, this
country is sort of "at war," so the swimming pool here is currently
filled with ammunition. And where's
the white sand beach? Yeah, where's the beach? It's, uh, it's been
taken over by rebels. Okay. So before you booked
our trip here, you forgot to find out that this is the worst
country on earth? Yeah. Jade, don't be
such a crabby Cathy. I have every right
to be a crabby Cathy… [giggling] All right, if you could
stop it…
That's… Okay, I got it, custom. Ah, crabby Cathy is about
to get a little bit crabbier. [giggling] I think those girls like
Beck's Fluffy American hair. Clearly. Hey! Get your hands off
my boyfriend's head. Ssss! Ssss! Ssss! [screams] [screeching] Okay, Robbie and I
just looked at our rooms, and there's no way
I'm staying here. Me neither. What's so bad about your rooms? Well, we can start
with the foreign man I found in my closet. And there was
a grenade in my toilet. There's nicer hotels
in Northridge. Aah! Aah! What happened? Somethin' bit my neck! Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it looked like a moth. [chattering] What happened? A moth bit our friend's neck. A moth? Was it about this big
and black like the night? Yeah. Ah, that was a vampire moth. Well, is he gonna be okay? Of course.
Being bitten by a vampire
moth is very good luck. Hah. Wait, but it says here
that a bite from a vampire moth could kill you. Yes, but if you live,
you are very lucky. -Yeah!
-Hollywood! ♪ Why am I always hit on
By the boys I never like ♪ ♪ I can always see 'em coming ♪ ♪ From the left or
From the right ♪ ♪ I don't want to be a priss,
I'm just try'na be polite ♪ ♪ But it always seems
To bite me in the… ♪ ♪ Ask me for my number, yeah
You put me on the spot ♪ ♪ You think that
We should hook up, ♪ ♪ but I think that
We should not ♪ ♪ You had me at "hello", then
You opened up your mouth ♪ ♪ And that is when it
Started going south, oh! ♪ ♪ Get your hands off my hips ♪ ♪ Before I punch you
In the lips ♪ ♪ Stop your staring at my hey!
Take a hint, take a hint ♪ ♪ No you can't buy me a drink
Let me tell you what I think ♪ ♪ I think you could use a mint
Take a hint, take a hint ♪ ♪ T-take a hint, take a hint ♪ ♪ I guess you still don't get t
So let's take it from the top ♪ ♪ You asked me what my sign is
And I told you it was stop ♪ ♪ And if I had a dime for every
Name that you just dropped ♪ ♪ You'd be here and
I'd be on a yacht, oh! ♪ ♪ Get your hands off my hips ♪ ♪ Before I punch you
In the lips ♪ ♪ Stop your staring at my hey!
Take a hint, take a hint ♪ ♪ No you can't buy me a drink
Let me tell you what I think ♪ ♪ I think you could use a mint
Take a hint, take a hint ♪ ♪ T-take a hint, take a hint ♪ ♪ What about "no" don't you ge♪ ♪ So go and tell your friends
I'm not really interested ♪ ♪ It's about time
That you're leavin' ♪ ♪ I'm gonna count to three and♪ ♪ Open my eyes and
You'll be gone ♪ ♪ -One
-Get your hands off me ♪ ♪ -Two
-Or I'll punch you in the ♪ ♪ -One
-Stop your starin' at my hey! ♪ ♪ Take a hint, take a hint ♪ ♪ I am not your missing link
Let me tell you what I think ♪ ♪ I think you could use a mint♪ ♪ Take a hint, take a hint! ♪ Hambone! [tap dancing] [cheering] [tap dancing] [cheering] [tap dancing] [cheering] [tap dancing] [cheering] Look at Robbie work! He's doing great!
He's gonna take him! [cheering] [tap dancing] [cheering] Oh! Oh yeah! Yeah baby! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! [cheering] Wait! Waits a second…
You threw this Sushi at him. Did not. Did too! You threw it and
messed up his rhythm! I… I can go again. No way, it's over. You cheated. Still a sore loser, Vega? So uh, any of you
other pre-turds wanna take on
The Hambone King? Hey! I'll take on
the Hambone "King". [cheering] Wait, Tori, you haven't
Hamboned in seven years. Well, now I have a reason. Call it. Hambone! Go Tori! [cheering] [tap dancing] [ooo-ing] [cheering] [tap dancing] [cheering] Tori! Come on, you're up. [tap dancing] Oh dang! Wait, wait, wait… Misbone! He misboned! [cheering] You said Linda was
a super hot guitar player! No, Wendell's a loser! [slurping] [slurping] I'm gonna get you, Tori! Dumb Debbie was so dumb, "she didn't realize that
April first was April fools…" Day. [chuckles] "Day"…
Hmmm… "Day". Well, let's see
if you match anybody. Ahem, Andre? Roses are red,
storm clouds are gray, Debbie's so dumb, she didn't
realize it was April fools… …Lobster. [cackling] [laughing] What's the lobster…
Ahhh! Wait… [yelling] [laughing] All right, now get up. [chuckling]
Jade, what's your answer? I figured she was so dumb, she thought April first
was April fools… …Berry. That's a thing, right? April fools Berry,
that's a thing. Oh, you're a thing.
A foul beast of a thing! [laughing] No, no, no. No, no, no. It's not my fault that
she said Berry… wait. But she said Berry! [laughing] [squeaking] All right, upsee-daisy.
[chuckling] Robbie…? Yes yes, what is it Sikowitz? Dumb Debbie was so dumb, she didn't realize that
April first was April fools… "Foot". [booing] Oh shut up you people,
I was on Broadway. Cat, it's your turn. Wait, the lobster forgot
to push Tori down. Oh yes. Cat, why would you remind… [yelling] [yelling] [yelling] Will you get up? [laughing] Ahem, Cat… Dumb Debbie was so dumb, she didn't realize that April
first was April fools blank. I said… "Blank". [buzzer sounding] Come on, Jackie Bonay. You've been eating
For over an hour. When can I take
my picture With you? Soon. Just… Eat slower. That's it. I'm leaving. Oh, no. Jackie Bonay is having
heart confarction. [grunting] [grunting] Ah, dang it.
I'm out. [groaning] Hey, you can't go now. You better do something. Oh, yeah. I'll do something. [foreign language] [groaning] Quiet down! Wait. What about Jackie Bonay? Just drag her body
out by the dumpster. And don't say nothing to nobody. ♪ Ella es el almuerzo ♪ ♪ Ella es el almuerzo ♪ El cut! Everyone take cinco. Really nice work. Good job. Gracias. That was a great scene, Trina. Really
"high-quality television". Muah! "Top-notch-acting". Why are you here?! Get out! No, we wanna watch you act. Yeah. does lady cheese
boob get away from the hungry mice children? Trina, are these your amigas? No, this is my mean sister
and her rude friend. Hey! Do not call me her friend. Well, whoever
these senoritas may be, you are both muy pretty.
Thank you. Gracias. We're just visiting. Listen, we're about
to film our next scene. Would you like to be
in the show with Trina? Why her?! Thank you,
but I'd really rather not… A'buh buh buh buh! Remember the deal with Sikowitz. I told you… You have to do it. Yes. Yes! Yes. I will be in the next scene. Wonderful. Can she be in it, too? [music] Si! Si! Rapido! Si! Si! ♪ You know I flaunt ya ♪ ♪ 'Cuz girl I really want ya ♪ ♪ And you lookin' nice ♪ ♪ Got me cooler
Than a bag of ice ♪ ♪ Now freeze, freeze, freeze ♪ ♪ Now go drop it fast
And move it real slow ♪ ♪ Hooooo ♪ ♪ Whaaaat? ♪ ♪ You smell so fruity ♪ ♪ I'm a pirate
And you're my Booty ♪ ♪ Arrgghh ♪ ♪ So move it in close ♪ ♪ And lemme have a daily dose ♪ [gasps] ♪ Girl…
♪ ♪ I've been thinkin' 'bout you♪ ♪ Think about me ♪ ♪ Whatchoo think about it? ♪ ♪ Five fingaz to the face ♪ ♪ Eynnn… eynnn eynnn ♪ ♪ Five fingaz to the face ♪ ♪ Eynnn… eynnn eynnn ♪ ♪ Oh it's like that ♪ ♪ Five fingaz to the face ♪ ♪ Eynnn… eynnn eynnn ♪ ♪ Five fingaz to the face ♪ ♪ Eynnn… eynnn eynnn ♪ ♪ I love my Tina,
Vanessa and Georgina ♪ ♪ It's lady's choice ♪ ♪ So ima make sure
To make some noise ♪ ♪ Hoooooooo, ohhh… ohhhhhh ♪ ♪ And now were sweatin' ♪ ♪ Got my turbo engine revvin' ♪ ♪ Vroooooom! ♪ ♪ They stop and stare ♪ ♪ All the haters think
It's just not fair ♪ ♪ That I'm six foot one
And I'm tons a fun ♪ ♪ And I'm 'bout ta put
This club in gear ♪ ♪ So fellas grab a cup ♪ ♪ Whaaaat? ♪ ♪ All my ladies
Ya know wassup ♪ ♪ Yeeeaaahhh ♪ ♪ Put ya hands in the sky
If ya feelin' fly ♪ ♪ And tell me that you… ♪ ♪ Whaaaaat? ♪ Next topic… math. Uh, let's go with… Cat. No! Ya gotta answer something. Cat… No! I've never been doinked
before I'm not ready! Question! What is the only number
that's both even and odd? Um… Ninety… four-three? [buzzer] Wrong! Dang it! That means Cat gets a…
Doink! No! Can't we just skip my d… Ow! I'm a girl! That's my face! Looks like Cat got… Double doinked! Question! In the move The Scissoring — Yes! Yes? How many times is
the word scissors spoken? I don't know.
Who would know that?! [buzzer] Wrong! No! Do not doink me! That's another hundred points
for the blue team… [cheers and applause] And Jade, I'm afraid
you're a victim of "a-salt and battery". What does that mean? A salt! And battery! [screaming] What was that? That was a load of batteries! I know what they were! But why'd ya drop 'em on me?! She got the answer wrong! Good point. More batteries! What do you mean… no! No! Okay, that's-that's
borderline dangerous! Yeah, why don't you just
drop a car battery on her head. Car battery! Ow! Hey, is that a squid
in your fish tank? Squid? What squid? He is admiring
your okkatapus. Oh, this is an octopus. It was given to the chancellor
by the prince of Gooshtavia. Ahh. When I was 19, I spent
a whole month in Gooshtavia.
It is beautiful country. Is it? 'Cause I don't remember
one minute of that trip. Hey, come on now.
Can we all get back to Tori? Please let Tori go. We promise you,
we'll take her and leave. [sighs] Very well.
I will free Tori Vega. But you must promise
to never return to my country ever again. No big deal. No arguments here. I'll sign something. Way to go, Urkel. What? What's happening?
What's going on? Nothing.
Chancellor, your,
your okkatapus… Tell me fast! She is dead, buddy. [squeaks] Bring her to me. [sobbing] [sobbing] [sobbing] So why did you let Jade go? Yeah, why'd you let her go? I didn't let her go!
You know what? I really don't want
to talk about this here. He's afraid
to face his feelings. Um-hum. No! Okay? Look… I'll always love
Jade as a friend but as a girlfriend, she was… She would always freak out
over every little thing. Sometimes girls do that. Because we get scared inside. And we need a man
to make us feel safe. Whoa! Whoa now! Trust me.
Jade isn't scared of anything. You probably just want
Beck for yourself. I do not want Beck for myself! Look, Beck and I
are just friends, all right? So then you told Jade
you're hanging out with him tonight.
Well, no. Uh-huh. Interesting. Okay, you know what?
You listen to me! And there they are. Oh, man. Jade? Things are about to get real. Wow, Tori and Beck are here. Who'd have thunk that they'd be. I mean, what a coincidence? Oh, who am I kidding? Wait. So that's Jade? Look, Jade,
I can explain why Beck and I… Come on,
how you gonna explain that you're out on a date
with her ex-boyfriend? It's not a date! They broke up.
Tori has every right
to go out with Beck. Not really going out! Hey, Beck, which one of them
do you think is prettier? Why don't you go
check your mom's pulse? You have no right
to be mad at us because Beck and I are only… I'm not. You're not… What? I'm not mad. Careful! It's a trick! It's not a trick.
I thought I was mad but… I mean now that I'm here, what do I have to be mad about? We broke up,
we're all friends, kind of. I mean, any of us should be able to hang out with
whoever we want. Still thinking it's a trick. It's not. By the… Tori, he's over there. Beck, Beck. Beck. Yes? Beck? I'm not Beck. I'm you. Wait, wait, but how
did you…
Where'd… Where'd you get that dress? Cat made it. Are you sweating? Yeah, I think I'm having
an anxiety attack. I don't wanna do
the stunt. I'm scared. It's okay, I got this. Wait, what are you…? Shh. Wait here. Wow, do I look
that good running away? Just search the app store. They don't have pee minder. All I can find is tinkle time. I've got squirt alert. There goes Tori. Yeah, she's so cute
when she's running away. [chuckles] Yeah, she is. [laughing] All right, we're back. Tori, you set? Ready. Rolling. Speed. [bell ringing] Scene 21 apple, take three. Action! Pick up your coffee,
read the note, and spill the coffee and fall! And cut. Perfect. [cheering] Thanks everyone. Be right back. Now, let's give a warm
Green Meadow mall welcome to Internet sensation,
The Diddly-Bops! [cheering] [cheering] Hi, kids.
Welcome to
the Green Meadow mall. A good place to shop. I'm a hot dog. Something's wrong here. ♪ What I like about cheese ♪ ♪ Is that you can put it
On veggies ♪ ♪ And it tastes ♪ ♪ Mm-mm so good ♪ Yeah! ♪ I like to talk about fo-ood ♪ ♪ 'Cause it's my ♪ Those aren't
The real Diddly-Bops. We are too the Diddly-Bops. They're fakers. [booing] That guy's Like 100 years old. I'm 34. Fakers. Fakers. [booing] Fakers. Let go! Let go! Let go! Fakers! [yelling] [yelling] Mister Mooney. Hi. You said you weren't
gonna come back tonight. But here you are. Well, I forgot my pills. Oh, did you hand out
all thousand Berry Balls? Yup. She sure did. Well, then, I'll write you
a check for $100 right now. Oh, no. Uh, she can get that next week. I insist. She did her job, and she
deserves her remuneration. First, I'll write out the date.. Pay to the order of… Tori. Is that spelled T-O-R-I,
or it T-O-R… What's happening? Uh, I'm… She's crying. I'm crying.
I'm so happy to be getting
a hundred dollars… I'm crying, and
my mascara is dripping. I'll get you a rag. [sobbing] So… T-O-R-I? Yeah. How much mascara
are you wearing? Here, I'll fix it. I better get her to
the mascara clinic! Um… Wow… incredible outfit. I look like an idiot. A… pretty pink idiot… With a…Thing on her head. Thanks. Didn't expect to see you here. Well… everyone else was
coming to cheer you on, so… Figured I would, too. And… You look way better
in that than I would have. This isn't right. Yeah… it is a little
tight around your… No. Not the stupid outfit.
This. Me. I don't…
This was supposed
to be your night. This was your big chance, so
for me to go out there and… And…? I can't do that to a friend. Or even to you. ♪ Got a one way ticket
Down a two way street ♪ ♪ Got the wind in my hair and
There's dust on my feet ♪ ♪ I'm just trying
To make it in America ♪ Pitching, that's what I think
of your script, all right? ♪ Only thing to my name
Is an old t-shirt ♪ ♪ Faded 1985 from
A Stones concert ♪ ♪ And I'm dying
To make it in America ♪ That's great. ♪ And I'm singing the words
To my favorite song ♪ ♪ With the rag top down
And my glasses on ♪ ♪ And I'm driving
Straight through America ♪ ♪ I wanna taste the sun ♪ ♪ 'Cause baby
I'm born to run ♪ ♪ I got a feeling that
I'm not the only one ♪ ♪ I, I wanna show some skin ♪ ♪ Yeah baby I need the ocean ♪ ♪ And you can't stop me now
I've got my heart in motion ♪ ♪ I want to make it in America♪ ♪ Make it in America ♪ Told you she was fantastic.
But you fired her. You're fired. Copy that. ♪ I can see my star
sunset and vine ♪ ♪ Gonna carve my name
In the Hollywood sign ♪ ♪ Yeah I gotta,
Gotta make it in America ♪ ♪ See me wearin' a smile,
Even if I'm broke ♪ ♪ I'll be singing the words
From a song I wrote ♪ ♪ And I called it
Make it in America ♪ ♪ I wanna taste the sun ♪ ♪ 'Cause baby
I'm born to run ♪ ♪ I got a feeling that
I'm not the only one ♪ ♪ I, I wanna show some skin ♪ ♪ Yeah baby I need the ocean ♪ ♪ And you can't stop me now
I've got my heart in motion ♪ ♪ I want to make it in America♪ ♪ Make it in America ♪ [siren wailing] You can't tell
anybody about this. Neither can you. How great is this bibble? So great. [grunting] Help me. [grunting] Okay, okay it's loose. Now let's pull up that top! [laughing] What? Our car is topless.
[laughing] You know,
let's just go back to LA. -Yes.
-No! You guys promised we could go
to Mona Patterson's house so I could light a candle
and leave it by the front door. -But Cat–
-Please. Come on, it's already late
and we need to get back to LA so we can finish
our science project. -Tori, Tori.
-What? [gasps] Can I have a ride to your house? Um, no. No, we're driving
our friend to San Diego. When are you going to San Diego? You know… Now! [yelling] Go go go! I had dreams of doing
something special with my life.
But now I'm just
a High School teacher. A worthless loser. Frittering my days away
in a stupid classroom with a buncha
snot-nosed teenagers? That's no life for a man. Okay. So look at teaching
as a… a temporary thing. It's been ten years, Randy! Ten years… watching my
friends have rewarding lives… While I'm nothin' but
a stinkin' High School teacher.
Great play, Tori. Good call. I didn't know! At least you're not bald. Mike… dude… come on buddy. Five… four… three…
two… one… [horn blows] [bell rings] Ah! [screaming] [buzzer] Loser. Can we stop hammer dancin' now? Please? No! Are you okay?! Yeah. You are not going back in there. Okay. [chattering] [chattering] [screaming] [cheering] [chattering] Oh yeah! C'mon gorilla! Hammer time!!! [cheering] [cheering] Get up! Get it! Get up there! [cheering] [bell rings] [growling] ♪ I feel delirious, come
Let's get out of here ♪ ♪ We're so anonymous but
It's all coming clear ♪ ♪ We're heading for the sky
And we'll get lost in it ♪ ♪ 'Cause all I want, all I wan,
All I want is everything ♪ ♪ And I will pose if I wanna ♪ ♪ And I will vogue
Like Madonna ♪ ♪ I might not dance
Like M.J, R.I.P.
♪ ♪ But I will give
The best of me ♪ ♪ All I want is everything ♪ ♪ Yes everything
Too much is not enough ♪ ♪ I'm sick of settling
For in between ♪ ♪ And I'm not givin' up
As long as it feels right ♪ ♪ At least we know
That we're alive ♪ ♪ All I want is everything,
Yes everything, yeah ♪ ♪ Whoa-oh ♪ ♪ We don't ever stop ♪ ♪ Let's watch the sun come up ♪ ♪ We'll sleep when we're dead
'Cause halfway kinda sucks ♪ ♪ We're heading for the sky
And we'll get lost in it ♪ ♪ 'Cause all I want, all I wan,
All I want is everything ♪ ♪ And I will pose if I wanna ♪ ♪ And I will vogue
Like Madonna ♪ ♪ I might not dance
Like M.J, R.I.P.
♪ ♪ But I will give
The best of me ♪ ♪ All I want is everything ♪ [screaming] Break it up break it up! Stop the music! [screaming] -Your shoe hit the chancellor!
-In his last good eye! [engine revving] [engine cranking] [engine sputtering] Here we go! Oh. Ooh. Yay. Are we moving? Yup, we're movin'. Can't it go any faster? Sure. If we were being towed by
something that goes faster. [engine sputtering] ♪ The wheels on the cupcake
Spin around ♪ ♪ Spin around, ♪ ♪ Spin around… ♪ ♪ The wheels on the cupcake
Spin around… ♪ ♪ Doo d'doodly doooooo… ♪ What street are we on? Yeah, what street? Let's just say it
ain't sesame street. I love sesame street. ♪ Sunny… ♪ No! Hey. Hey what's in that sack? I don't know. Well, I swear it just moved. Owwwwwwwwww!!! Oh. Really? Trina? Thanks for kicking me
in the mouth! Why are you in that sack?! So I can perform in the parade! [yelling] [yelling] Hey, whoa.
Oh my God. Dang. [growling] What was that? I think we got a flat tire. Hey there! Dale squires! Uh, apparently,
you have a fan in the crowd. [cackling] Hey, Dale! How come you lied to me?! Uh, ma'am? I don't know you.
I don't know her. You, you don't know me?! This man took me to a fish
restaurant two weeks ago and told me he loved me, and I haven't heard
from him since! No, no, no, no, no. C'mon, all right, she's lying! Okay? You are a liar! Liar?! Oh no. That's it! I'm about to open up a cloud
and rain all over you! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Get off me! I don't know you! I wanna go back to
that fish restaurant! Can you go to a commercial?! No way, man, this is awesome! You guys likin' this?! [cheering] [screaming] Yeah! Now you're upside down! How do you like that,
Dale Squires?! How do you like that? She's so strong.
Dale gave us credit. Even I feel bad. We should do something. Waffles? I like waffles. Waffles are good. I know a place. Off we go. [screaming] [screaming] Now, please rise for
our national anthem, performed tonight by local
high school student Tori Vega! [cheering] Don't forget the lyrics, kid. Woo! Yeah! Yay. This is gonna be amazing. Yay, Tori. I don't know why
they didn't ask me to sing the national anthem.
-I do.
-Me too. -I get it.
-You're a terrible singer. Oh, shut up! ♪ Oh-oh say can you see ♪ ♪ By the dawn's early light ♪ ♪ What so proudly we hailed ♪ ♪ At the twilight's
Last gleaming ♪ I think it's beaming. ♪ Whose broad stripes
And bright stars ♪ ♪ Through the perilous fight ♪ She's doing great. She's alright. ♪ We watched, were
So gallantly streaming ♪ ♪ And the rockets' red glare! ♪ ♪ The bombs bursting in air! ♪ ♪ Gave proof through the night
That our flag was still there ♪ ♪ Oh say does… ♪ No! Buck! ♪… That star spangled… ♪ Wah! ♪ Banner yet wave… ♪ Oh my chiz. ♪… O'er the land
Of the freeeeeeee ♪ ♪ And the home ♪ ♪ Of the… ♪ Tori! Oh, my God! ♪ Braaaaaaaaaaave! ♪ Oh my goodness, Robbie. I didn't realize
you were so popular. Are you his girlfriend? No. Are you? Okay why don't you
go down the nursery and scare the newborn babies? Oh. Where are the babies? Uh… so, doc, what's
the situation with Robbie? Well, do you see this
tear in his small intestine? Yeah.
Well, if that Pontiac moves, it
could rip that kid's guts apart. [squeaks] So slice him open
and yank it out. Well, we would, but Robbie has
a rare blood type, o-negative. Oh. Negative. And we don't have enough
here for the surgery. So how do you plan to– Whoa, whoa. I know where he can get
some o-negative blood. Where? Right here. I'm o-negative? You did go through
my medical records. Told you I do my research. Would you be willing to donate
blood for Robbie's operation? Uh… sure. Totally. But the play starts
in three hours. Oh, you're in a play? Uh, yeah, at school. I'm the lead. Well, don't you have
an understudy, someone that could
take your place? Yeah, she does. Large, scary lady coming.
Large, scary lady coming. Great. It's the one you called big
and stupid the other day. Whatever. I'm not
scared of this chick. So do I still look
big and stupid? All right. Listen, hot stuff. You better just turn
yourself around and walk away from me
'cause I'm gonna…
I like it on the ground. Uh, Tori, Tori. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey. F'zock m'tog. Ah-bocka-vool. She's my friend. Yeah. We're super close. You are lucky, American. [grunting] I didn't need your help. She would've eaten you. She wouldn't have liked it. Hi. Ew. Jade,
your outfit's all dirty. Oh, no. Now I'll never win
the prison beauty pageant. Wait. They have that? Where've you been? I joined a prison gang. What do you mean? Well, this group of really mean,
tough prison ladies said I'm cute and funny, so they invited me
to join their prison gang. And you said, yes? Uh-huh. I told the gang ladies
I'm gonna make us all special t-shirts. Hi. Ah, Tori you're early…
good, good. Yeah. Uh,
my friend Cat said that she really needs to talk to you.
Mister Thornesmith, you know
that store, Barney's bibblery? Mm-hmm. They won't sell me
any more bibble. Why not? They think I might
have a problem. Would you mind calling for me? Sure, later, all right? Noo! I need more bibble now! Now, Cat. Tori and I need to have
a little word in private. So why don't you just
put on these dark sunglasses, and these headphones… But I don't understand. Just listen to
this very loud music, dance around a while… And
I'll give you some bibble. But I don't see why… Ooooo! Now Tori… You are doing
a magnificent job with the makeup and these outfits. I'm ready for bibble. You really think I need
to change who I am, and be outrageous, for
people to like my music? Oh, absolutely.
Hundred percent. And see, we've already
got you looking the part of the outrageous pop star… …And now you've
got to play the part. I… don't… Rebellious. Dangerous. The sort of wild girl who'd
go to a posh restaurant in Beverly Hills, get furious
a server, flip over a table, …Grab a plate of ravioli… And dump that ravioli right
down a policeman's pants. I'm dancing for bibble. Um… I like your car. I'm so glad. I thought you only
liked to drive at night.
Oh, I prefer to drive at night. But y'know…
Anything for a friend. Right… Right. [squawking] Um… where are we? Just driving to school. Are you sure we can
get to school this way? I've never been this way. Relax, Tori. Everything's fine. Weird… My phone's not
getting any signal. See? No signal. Oh, yeah, we're about
to drive through shadow creek park. There's not much signal up here. There's not much of
anything up here. Oh. ♪ La la… ♪ ♪ La la la la… ♪ ♪ La la… ♪ ♪ La la la la… ♪ ♪ La la… ♪ ♪ La la la la… ♪ [screaming] Why'd you jump out of the car? Oh… no reason! Well, hurry up and get back in. No, that's okay.
I'll walk it from here. Suit yourself. [sighs] Next time. Oh, I really don't wanna
wait in a big long line. I don't either.
I don't like it one bit. I love lines. They're like
long, single-file parties. Hey wait, look up at
the front of the line. Isn't that Sinjin and Burf? -Oh yeah.
-Yeah, that's them. Yeah, there they are. Burf is Sinjin's friend. Well, I'm gonna go talk to them, and get 'em
to let us cut in line.
That's a good idea. Bye. Ooh! [honking] What, what?! I just wanted to see
if you'd come back if I honked the horn. Restrain her. Come on. [chuckling] Robbie! Answer me! Answer me! I'm so hungry, Robbie! He likes it when you say
"base to Shapiro". Oh, I care what he likes! Why doesn't he answer us?! Ah, you turned it off! You've been talking
into an offie-talkie! Somebody just get me a sandwich! Kay-kay. No! No! I'm sorry. Oh my God the alarm! Oh man, the cops will
be here in five minutes! We gotta make a run for the car! No they've got security
cameras in the parking lot! If they get us on camera
they'll find us and arrest us! Bins! Everybody, cover
your heads with bins! -Yes!
-Good plan Jade! Perfect! Gimme one! Oh, I want the orange one! I don't care! -Run!
-Everybody go, go go! -Turn it off!
-Come on, fuzzy! Your shouting is
not making this easier! [screaming] What in the? Hey! You guys! Wait for me! Hey, where you going?!
No you don't! Andre! Beck! Help me! Head-butt 'em! -I can't see 'em!
-Look for their feet! Tori! [screams] What are you doing? I'm gonna see if Andre's online
so we can work over video chat.
Oh, smart. Maybe you guys can, uh– Did you just kick my seat again? Why don't you ask your butt? Look, if you don't knock it off, I'm gonna tell
the flight attendant. Ooh, you're a scary witch. I wish I was a witch 'cause I would take my broomstick and . Trina, sit. Oh, good. Andre's online. I need some more air. You have a pimple
under your arm.
Don't talk about it. Tori Vega, what's up? Hey, I'm on the plane. You're on the plane? Well if I were you,
I'd get in the plane. [laughing] So you're on the plane? And I'm not gonna land
until after 11:00. Oh, but we gotta write
that script for class. I know. Wanna do it over video chat? Yeah, sure. I'll text Cat and Beck
and tell 'em to get online. Cool. Will you pop this for me? No. I let you borrow my
green sweater last week. And that means I should
pop your pit pimple?! Yes! We're sisters. If you had a pit pimple, I'd– -Quit kicking my seat!
-Quit kickin' my seat! Your desserts.
What is this? I dunno, pudding? Aww. It's got fur on it. Just like your pimple. And here she is
singing a song to you, and the crazy dog that dragged
her around the gym floor! Clap it up for Tori Vega! ♪ All the rules you break ♪ ♪ Make me wanna run,
But I can't escape ♪ ♪ All the things you say ♪ ♪ Most of them are lies,
But I'm listening ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ La la la la la la ♪ ♪ La la la la la ♪ ♪ That's my heart talking
To my head, head ♪ ♪ Talkin' to my heart ♪ ♪ La la la la la la ♪ ♪ La la la la la ♪ ♪ That's my heart talking
To my head, head ♪ ♪ Sayin' that, you're a bad bo♪ ♪ I'm a good girl ♪ ♪ And I'm gonna get my heart
Broken in time ♪ ♪ You're a bad boy ♪ ♪ Baby, your world is
Gonna chew me up ♪ ♪ And spit me out alive ♪ ♪ If I could help myself,
You know, I would ♪ ♪ Why do the bad boys always ♪ ♪ Look so good? ♪ Gotta let you go ♪ ♪ I gotta let you go ♪ ♪ Because, you're a bad boy ♪ ♪ I'm a good girl ♪ ♪ And I'm gonna get my heart
Broken in time ♪ ♪ You're a bad boy ♪ ♪ Baby, your world is
Gonna chew me up ♪ ♪ And spit me out alive ♪ ♪ If I could help myself,
You know, I would ♪ ♪ Why do the bad boys always ♪ ♪ Look so good? ♪ ♪ La la la la la ♪ [screaming] Is that what you meant, Nana? I've done good my whole life, and now I'm trapped
down in this well.
And I'll probably never get out. [sobbing] ♪ Don't cry ♪ ♪ Don't you cry, little girl ♪ ♪ Down in that well ♪ ♪ The well where you fell ♪ ♪ With no secrets to tell ♪ ♪ You don't have to cry ♪ ♪ Just believe you can fly ♪ ♪ And you will fly up ♪ ♪ Out of that well ♪ Yes. That was so good. She killed it. Woo! I'm sorry. I'm confused. My character can fly now? No. So then why is
my angel telling me to fly up out of this well? Because the angel's
mother is– A nice lady
who's paying for this play. That's right. Sing it again, Daisy. ♪ Don't cry ♪ ♪ Don't you cry, little girl ♪ All right, now on action, Melinda and Jeff will
start their dialogue, and then our waiter, ah… Beck. Beck. My boyfriend. Her boyfriend will
come in, do his line, then move off to the left. Who's not ready? Good. Roll. Rolling. Speed. Seventy-four apple,
take one. And action. Why the disgusted
look on your face? I'm having dinner with you.
See, that's the kind of
attitude that got you fired. I got fired because
I was set up. Good luck proving that. I don't have to prove
anything, all I need is… I'm sorry, the chicken breast
isn't available today. Wait, what'd you just say? Cut. Can we cut so this guy
can learn his line? Hold. Melinda, please.
Only the director yells cuts. He said his line wrong. He's supposed to say, "we're
out of the chicken breast." Not, "the chicken breast
isn't available today." So let the script supervisor
tell him that.
You know what? She's right. It's totally my fault.
I'll get it right this time. Hope so. Great, all right. Let's do this again. Roll. Wait, excuse me. Actually, Beck
got his line right. Hmm. Sorry.
No, no, no, no. What? Sit down. See? Waiter
number one's line is, "I'm sorry, the chicken breast
isn't available today." Oh, yeah. Kid, you had it right. Whoa, whoa. What are you? Tori Vega.
Background player, big fan. Hi, Melinda Murray. Okay, an extra is
correcting me on the set? I'm sorry, but you
yelled at my friend -and he was totally–
-She's your friend? -Yeah, she's…
-Go.
Go? I want you off this movie. Melinda. You want him here or me? Kid, I'm sorry. No. It's cool. [panting] What the– hey. Why am I in
a gigantic cereal bowl? What's happening? Rex? Feel my snot. Oh, my god. Rex, how did you–
you're so big. Have this– Rex, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. [yelling] No, no, no. No, no, no, no, noooooo. ♪ The situation turned around ♪ ♪ Enough to figure out ♪ ♪ That someone else
Has let you down ♪ ♪ So many times
I don't know why ♪ ♪ But I know we can make it ♪ ♪ As long as you say it ♪ ♪ So tell me that
You love me yeah ♪ ♪ And tell me that
I take your breath away ♪ ♪ Maybe if you take one more
Then I would know for sure ♪ ♪ There's nothing left to say ♪ ♪ Tell me that
You love me anyway ♪ [cheering] ♪ So tell me that
You love me anyway ♪ ♪ Whoa whoa oh oh ♪ ♪ Waking up beside yourself ♪ ♪ And what you feel inside ♪ ♪ Is being shared
With someone else ♪ ♪ Nowhere to hide
I don't know why ♪ ♪ But I know we can make it ♪ ♪ As long as you say it ♪ ♪ So tell me that
You love me yeah ♪ ♪ And tell me that
I take your breath away ♪ ♪ Maybe if you take one more
Then I would know for sure ♪ ♪ There's nothing left to say ♪ ♪ Tell me that
You love me anyway ♪ ♪ Show me look what we found ♪ ♪ Turn it around every day ♪ ♪ I can hear what you say ♪ ♪ Now I know why
I know we can make it ♪ ♪ If you tell me that
You love me yeah ♪ ♪ And tell me that
I take your breath away ♪ ♪ Maybe if you take one more ♪ ♪ So tell me that
You love me yeah ♪ ♪ And tell me that
I take your breath away ♪ ♪ Maybe if you take one more
Then I would know for sure ♪ ♪ There's nothing left to say ♪ ♪ Tell me that
You love me anyway ♪ Hey, hey, hey.
Sir, sir, shut up. Shh-shh-shh-shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shh-shh. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Do you mind if I record
your coughing and hacking? [coughs] I'm Cat. [coughing and hacking] Yes. Hack it up. Okay I'm gonna try it
just like that. Yeah. [coughing and hacking] [coughing and hacking] Mm. How gross is this food? So gross! What are these? Fried clams? Maybe. Are clams supposed to have hair? Oh! Ewe! See, this doesn't feel
anything like a date, right? Total opposite of a date.
To seafood from a truck! Seafood from a truck. [gagging] Don't… Don't eat the clams. [coughing and gagging] [coughing] [spitting] Trina, you set? I am super set. Okay, then we're
gonna put one down. Yes, let's put one down. Track one. Playback. ♪ I don't want to make a scene ♪ ♪ I don't wanna let you down ♪ ♪ I try to do my own thing and
I'm starting to figure it out ♪ ♪ But all right.
Keep it together ♪ ♪ Wherever we go ♪ ♪ Oh whoa whoa whoa ♪ I'm not hearing
any music anymore. Uh, yeah, your vocal, you're
not sounding like you did on the live demo
you played for me.
Oh, right. I was just trying it
a different way. Oh, okay. Well, why don't you
just try singing it like you did on the demo? Yes, sir. No problemo. Great, great. Let's go again. Take two. ♪ I don't want to make a scene ♪ ♪ I don't wanna let you down ♪ ♪ I try to do my own thing and
I'm starting to figure it out ♪ Can't you make her sound better? Yup. You just turned off her mic. Mm hmm. Sound better? Yeah. Wow, two pints of
blood in one day. Yeah. So you better drink your
juice and eat your cookie. So you won't feel faint. But you ate my cookie. Just drink your juice. Hey, there's my
little blood angel. Robbie, why are you out of bed? I don't know.
I just felt kind of bad that you
had to give more blood for me. No worries, already done. Thar she is. Oh yeah. Let me see. Wow. It's like I'm holding
liquid you in my hands. Okay. Oh sweet. Did you know if you hold
blood up against the light, you can totally see all the… I, um… Get the nurse. We'll get the nurse. Faster! Just tell me why you tried to
push your Uncle off that cliff. I'm done talkin' to you. Answer me! You ask me one more question, I'll rip that pencil
outta your hand and stick it right in your neck! Amazing. That was one of the best
auditions I've ever seen. Really? Oh yeah. I mean,
you just went for it. Oh my God
thank you guys so much.
And we'd totally
give you the part… If it wasn't for your
gorilla injuries. Well… It still means
a lot to know that you would've
given me the part. Get well soon. Thank you. [yelling] [yelling] -Funky nut blast!
-Go pay for it! Thank you! [yelling] Is it S? No. It's just a dumb H! Well, maybe there's
another pint. No, there's not, that was
the only funky nut blast [groaning] -Tori.
-Tori. -What are you doing?
-We're in public. -Please.
-Hey. That boy over there
is eating funky nut blast. [yelling] -Hi.
-Hello. -Hey.
-What you eating there? Funky nut blast. Oh, can we have it? Get out of here! We'll give you
30 bucks for it. Deal. [cheering] Hooray, now we can
win the contest and meet Ke$ha! [yelling] What? Is this what you want? [screaming] I'll give it to you, if… Ugh! -What do you want?
-To come to the private concert.
-Fine.
-All right. And…
I wanna kiss you. -What?
-And her… And uh, the freaky one. [gasps] You better stop there. Somethin' botherin' you? What? Nothing,
why thought you'd say that? 'Cause you seem all freaked out. I feel like I'm with my grandma. [nervous laughter] That laugh seemed insincere. Okay, we have a chopped
salad for the gentleman… Ah yeah, that's some legit sala. And for the lady…
Lobster salad with avocado. What?! What is this?! Uh, well you ordered the…
Where's the manager?! Tori, maybe you… Stay outta this! Well. Ma'am, if you would rather
have something else I'd be… No! What I'd rather do
is see you get fired for being an
incompetent pre-turd! Check please. My salad! Excuse me, young lady. Give me that ravioli! There's no need to be
this upset over some… Oh my stars!!! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! That wasn't the cop!
Where's the stunt cop?! No, no, no, no.
It's all right. It's all right.. This is so much better. Is there a problem here? Oh, I think there is. Just keep your hands steady. -Steady?
-Like this. [giggling] [giggling] So, I guess you could say
my "need for speed" started on my 12th birthday.
Look at 'em go. Must be doing close to 200. [cheering] 198. Nice call, buddy. Anyway, my 12th birthday… Yeah? My uncle helped me build
my own race car. No kidding? I built a race car when I was 1. [engines revving] [cheering] Something's happening
in the pits. Man, I wish I could see. Here. You brought binoculars? I never go to a race
without my binos. Man, these work great. Yep. They're good for
checking out the hot cars… And the hot ladies. Ya know what. Sinjin? Talk to me. I wasn't sure about hanging out
with you tonight, but you're a lot of fun. I will fist to that. Go do it. No. Tell him you love him
before you lose him.
But I'm afraid to tell him. Look, it's been a really,
really long time since I've seen you be happy. But ever since you and Keith– How's your audition going? I'm… I'm in the middle of it. That's so exciting. -I'm sorry, who is–
-Uh… she is my friend, Cat. Ah. You brought a superhero? I bet your left arm
is 34 inches long. It is. Get out, Cat. Whoosh. I'm so sorry. Uh… where were we? I really don't need
to see anymore. Oh, you don't? You're a fantastic actor. Really? So, I got the part? No. Oh. But only because you look
too much like the star. I was just thinking that. Ah, okay, that's…
I totally get it. -But…
-But? But what? I am sorry,
I seem too eager, don't I? But what? How would you like
to be a stunt double? I was just thinking that. A st… a stunt double? [giggling] Look, I made my tiger purple. [giggling] That doesn't happen in nature. [giggling] Ya know, at first
I thought these Pajelehoochos were stupid. You did? Yeah, but ah,
they're so comfortable.
Ya know why? Yep! Cuz they're pajamas! They're jeans! They're leggings! It's a hoodie! It's a poncho! It's the… Pajelehoocho! [laughing hysterically] Oh my goodness. Hey. Hold up. Hey. Hi. Are those Pajelehoochos? Uh-huh. I've seen them on TV. I have 142 more at home. Oh yeah? Then give us those. What? You want our Pajelehoochos? That's what I said. Sorry, fellas, but all we have on
underneath is underwear. Wait! Remember what
we promised Sikowitz? We have to say
yes to everything. But if they take
our Pajelehoochos… Can we have your Pajelehoochos? -Yes.
-Yes. I feel normal. I feel popular. Pajelehoochos! [barking] How are we gonna get home? I dunno. Well, we can't walk
six blocks in our underwear. Yeah, no kidding. [sighs] What are we gonna do? Well, we… We could stay
back here and snoodle. [chuckles] Gross..
